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Friday, October 28, 2011

Forever a Chrysalis

First things first, thank you to those who have been visiting this blog, despite my lack of initiative for updating you. i'm really touched by every single shout-out in the box.

i've been dreading hitting the "New Post" button forever and a day now. I just felt that, without my photography, I would be just another regular uninteresting fellow being without much to contribute. any medium other than photography makes me feel dumb and empty. so i still have no justification for this particular post. but i guess something is better than nothing. so here is my attempt at summing up what my life has been like since Nepal and what im trying to do to revisit my passion for photography. Warning: this could get a little personal :)

The past year I faced the toughest times of my life. Id never felt lower self-esteem and more confused. Most of it of course had to do with not being able to find a job. After graduating in June 2010, I suddenly had tons of time in my hands, loads of applications to send and no friends around me. That was definitely good for my creativity though, especially since I was living right by the woods (and god bless the woods). Photography was what made me feel grounded at the end of the day, an event I could look forward to on the weekends. However, by March, I still didn't have a single job offer and my time had run out. My bags were packed and I was ready to try to live off of doing photography. Or anything that I could get my hands on.

En route to Nepal via India, I got the call that changed the whole game for me. I got the offer I wanted and finally there seemed to be a somewhat "secure" future. But mind you, I make no qualms about having sent 100s of applications, done tons of interviews and attended a couple of assessment centres. I think all these have made me appreciate even more what I have now and I dont take anything for granted. It made me believe that some times, some people just have to wait a little longer to get what they really deserve.

Since August, I've been working as a consultant. Finally being able to justify my 20 years of business education. It's been a super crazy ride, with lots to digest and a few moments where i question my destiny. The ever so cliche - 'am I following my heart?' kinds. But I have no grounds to complain. AT ALL. i'm content, i feel useful and i'm enjoying every single day. almost.
occasionally i worry thinking of my camera lying in the drawer that has remained closed for a long stretch of time. but i am keeping my eyes on 2 people at work to get me started again. some earthlings are just too beautiful to miss eh?

i really really really hope the next post will be more pictures and less words. but im done beating myself up about checking to-do lists so no promises. But rest assured, i know photography will run in me through and through till i completely change my soul or something.

Anyways, thanks for reading and have a nice weekend :)


Mangal Daydreamer said...

Felt like my own story

I felt good to reading it because Loneliness likes company.

Felt good to know that there are other beings in this earth who feel the same.

Anonymous said...

waiting for ur next post :)

dongala (wanderer) said...

new post hun!!

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