life in transit

Waiting there at the Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok during a 6 hour transit, i had every intention of buying a ticket back to Nepal and "following my heart". i realised this was the longest i got to spend at home in the past 7 years. i guess it is then only natural to become so attached. Being back in Norway and adjusting to life near the woods has been anything but easy. The first couple of days all i could think of was the past months i got to spend in Kathmandu, the awesome people i met and just the privilege of being a pro photographer. but as they say, time does heal. i'm finally looking forward to starting a new career, something i've been preparing myself for the past, what, 20 years! i'm sure it's not going to be too bad, right?

But if you're in Kathmandu, then you're not quite done with me just yet. Before leaving, i did one last cover shoot for Wave's August issue and another project with Folio magazine which is due in September! Excited!

Lastly, please take care of the city while you're there?

Leavin on a Jetplane

Come on out and dance

If you get the chance,

We're gonna spit on the rivals.

All I wanna know,

Is how far you wanna go, 

fighting for survival

Tenzin Choetso blogs at becomingponytail. i like the simplicity and effortlessness in her style. She had emailed me when i had just got here in Nepal but it was only after a  month when i personally met up with her. Although we've only hung out a few times, it's been great knowing her and it's felt like we've been friends for a long time. Don't you just love it when that happens? Internet is a strange thing. 

This very day i also shot two boys i'd been planning to shoot for a long time now. i had a completely different concept in head. We had a go at it. But maybe i'm not ready. maybe the world's not ready yet to see such a concept. so i'll save it for later. maybe try it out with someone else. i'll let these photos suffice for now. 

Model: Bikash Rai

(tried to recreate one of Rai's photos. not sure if i did justice)

Model: Deepesh Shahi

thank you boys for being such a good sport both the days. Come rain or sunshine ;)

i have 4 days left in Nepal now. such.a.sad.feeling. i've been crying my eyes out, half not understanding how we can get so attached to a piece of land, and half not understanding why it is so hard some times to do the very things we ourselves have chosen! i feel guilty for leaving this place in the hands of others. i feel selfish for having thought just of myself while making my decision. i feel scared of a future where i'll be missing home.  and yet, i know im not going to do anything stupid and dramatic now. it's been an amazing 3 months but im going move on, be a sport :) and see where this life leads me. Most probably, all roads will lead me back home. 

a thank you note

photographs and brightly colored paper, 

are your mask you wear in this caper. that is our life

As the vehicle slowly started moving, i passed the central park of Kathmandu. The sun was about to set as it lit the short grasses with the last rays of light, slowly being teased by a cool breeze. A Norah Jones song started playing in my head. Boys were playing cricket, as their silhouette was being painted a faint orange by the light behind them. Oblivious to the traffic and noise around the park, some boys lay on the ground, day dreaming or making small chit chat. Some were in the mood for bromance. I saw a frightened yet excited eyes of a kid sitting almost on the handles of a bike without a helmet on (!!!). In the distance, I could see a fuzzy frame of white mountains beyond the valley covered by clouds of dust. A handsome tanned man on a bike gave me a confused look seeing the smile on my face. And all I could think of at that moment was to be thankful. To my camera.

So many of us take pictures to keep memories. We are scared our moments won’t come back and thus want to keep a part of it on glossy paper or on our computers. We often take them out to look back at disconnected friends and try to live up the times again, although photos are only one-dimensional, doing a poor job of describing the true essence of their content. Some of us take pictures simply to enjoy a narcissistic adrenaline rush admiring features of our physical image. Some of us are plain random, taking pictures of drunk acquaintances making an idiot out of themselves. Most people, when picking up a hobby or getting into a project, get so observed in itself that they only think about the end result. We forget to enjoy the journey.

That day I realized that of all the things I have learnt after picking up my camera, the most precious lesson was that I have begun to cherish moments when I don’t have a camera in my hands. I don't feel the excessive need to take  pictures when I travel or when I meet friends, for these times are for me to live up right then and there. Not to lose over a couple of frames that I can enjoy later. Maybe I won’t even remember most of such times again without a physical evidence to look at, but I don’t mind. If I have lived the moment when it’s happening, is that not going to make the best mental pictures?

I quote my friend Sanjog Rai , “photography class should be a requirement in all educational programs because it makes you see the world rather than just look at it...”. It is true. Even if you're not a hobbyist photographer, take out your cameras more often. Get really obsessed with how it works and think about how to get the most beautiful pictures. And once you put that camera down, you will see what a difference it makes to your perspective of things around you. You really begin to open your eyes.

p.s there's only a month and a half in Kathmandu left for me now. YIKES! I'm nervous and excited. 

Everything is impermanent

young and full of running

tell me where has that taken me?

just a great figure eight or a tiny infinity?

It's been exactly a month and a half since i got to Kathmandu and man, have i been busy! i'm actually thankful to the one/two bandhs a week that lets me stay at home. i'm still trying to get used to putting my phone on silent and drifting away from everything on these days though.

Working with Wave was definitely not planned! i'd just shot an email to one of the editors, we met and everything clicked. Yesterday shot the June cover-story pictures already!If you haven't checked out the May issue, please do so because i've attempted to write as well :) Although getting a whole crew together and making a big deal out of the concepts is fun, i've realised it's definitely not the same as shooting just for my own pleasure. Of course,  i am getting full freedom to bring in my concepts and play with the photos as i want at Wave. But stripped from the money aspect and the slightest pressure to please certain people on time, personal shoots are what fuels me i find. If i've learnt anything in the last months, it is that i am not a hero. i cannot make a model out of anyone. that my skills depend so much on getting the right persons and i feel humbled. And above all, i feel so very lucky to be living my dreams. THIS is exactly what i'd wanted for a long long while. and like everything....i'm ready for this not to last.

On a different note, i'm updating because i had another shoot with Noal Gurung. It was super fun because i got to play with a Canon 5D mark II and flash lights, thanks to Sworup. The first time i touched that beauty, i felt so bad because i wanted to completely ignore my Canon EOS 450D. but this time around, i felt more comfortable with the realisation of the fact that no matter what camera it is, it wouldn't cook up concepts for you. (i'm just saying because i cannot afford a 5D mark II :P)

p.s the left one was taken with the 5D mark II. right one with the EOS 450D!!!. 

Lastly, i want to apologize to all the people i've promised to meet up with but haven't been able to :( All i can say for now is that i still have two months here and Kathmandu is a very small town :)