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Sunday, March 13, 2011

Divided we stand, United we fall?

A thing that i've observed time and again is how bitter Nepalese in Nepal are towards Nepalese abroad. This doesn't apply to every single person but i've encountered it more often than not so i think it is safe to assume this is the outlook amongst a majority of Nepalese. Nepalese in Nepal (NN), like any normal folk, feel the grass is greener on the other side. It is easy to build a rosy picture and assume Nepalese abroad (NA) are having the time of their life. Since this is only natural (because everyone feels everyone else is having a better time), it is ok to digest.

What i just cannot digest is how this raises the topic of nationalism. NN go on bragging about how they are there for their country while NA are just spoiled people who don't give a dime about Nepal. Ok! Excuse me?

i think there are a few issues that need to be cleared here, no matter how much i feel there isn't the need for me to justify the fact that i and other NA are not in Nepal.

1. the most basic thing comes down to it being a free choice. NA are not robbing banks in the country to go abroad. No one is even forcing them to go. The situation at home and in the nation, one's own dreams, and their capacity to follow such dreams take NA abroad. Before an NN starts raising a finger, i think it is important to ask oneself if he/she has lent a hand for that NA in getting closer towards the dream. Either ways, no one has the right to judge a person who has made use of his free choice.

2. Just because an NN lives in the country does not mean he/she is actively contributing towards its development. i've seen this tendency of people claiming that they are "there" for Nepal and they blame NA for being selfish and "betrayers" even. If we care so much about the country, why don't we just shut up and do it. This constant need to point fingers at people and shirk responsibilities to others is quite childish, and it goes on to show that one does not care about the development in its own right, but measuring who contributed how much.!!
However, this is not to say that just because an NA is abroad does not mean he/she is not contributing towards Nepal. i think a good example is Raju Lama. Ok! i know you're thinking "he makes money for himself". But come on! isn't that a basic survival instinct? If one looks beyond that, it would be easy to see that him performing those songs attracts people and that helps to make people aware about Nepal. Even if it is in the smallest of ways. And thanks to all the intelligent NA, people don't just think that a Nepalese is a Sherpa who lives on Mt. Everest.

3. Just because an NA lives abroad doesn't mean he/she is not working his/her butt off. When one lives in an under developed country, it is easy to imagine the hardships people face in the country. The lack of electricity, the bureaucracy, the undone infrastructure, the raging population etc etc. But it's like science. You finally prove a theory and then you land up with another to discover all over again. One goes abroad and he/she realizes there is work to be done. No one hands over a platter full of services and fulfilled dreams to us. However, most NN see just the pretty side of it. "Wah America, moj hune bhayo!". They feel NA have "escaped" the ugly things in Nepal and now they see the big cities, chicks in skimpy clothes, supersized shopping malls etc etc. But what about the implicit feeling of unacceptance? What about the feeling of homesickness? How about things that get lost in translation (and i just don't mean your voice but your title and status (?)) and not to mention the loss of your year(s) of studies.

The only sadder thing is that it is not only NN who sometimes misunderstand the situation. Even NA talk crap about other NA. i'm sure we know at least one family where the father or mother or both had had to leave their children with their grandparents in Nepal. And people only see how the parents are the cruel ones. "Dhukka cha ni uni haru lai, baccha paayo ani chodyo. arka le herdi halcha ni". No parents are ever so crazy about material things that they would leave their children like that (at least that's what i would like to believe in). In any case, i don't think they are going abroad to attend the biggest party of their lives. They are going to work!!!

This post is however, i beg to highlight, not to say that NA are angels and NN are evil people. i guess all i'm trying to say is how i wish we stopped criticizing each other, breaking down the country into groups like that, and for once believing in each other.

Now please go listen to this cos i know you love it.

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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Hush hush






there above the hills and the huts, she saw the moon rise, lighting up the whole village and the river. and with that the road that led her back home.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

in retrospect



So it's already been a month since i last updated the blog. Obviously i expected 2011 to be a breath of fresh air from 2010, but i guess this process of change is going to be slow. i still believe this will be a year full of greatness for so many of us. So positivity is still not lost :)

it's been 15 weeks into the 52-weeks and since i don't want to blabber much about my personal issues, i want to take a look back and see how it's been. i'm so happy that i've managed to keep up with the weekly uploads. i hope you have so far liked my works and i promise to keep pushing my boundaries and delve into more daring concepts and processing. so don't write me out just yet;)

here we go:

week 1

self portrait canon norway remote control pashmina shawl wool sweater bikbok tights
This was during the moose-hunting season back in October. i was so proud to have gone that far into the forest ALONE and dared to stay up there for an hour or so in that cold cold weather. 
Since i was feeling extra enthusiastic, i also took some close up shots at home (just in case).

gap sweatshirt

week 2

H&M wool jacket Zara tee Tally jeans dinsko
i miss my brother KG so much looking at this. i made him carry that ladder an hour's walk into the forest. my idea was a little different from what you actually see here. i was thinking more like climbing to the top of the ladder and reaching out for the clouds/sky or something. Seeing that the top of the forest was also full of trees (duh!), i didn't get to photograph the vastness of the sky. so i ditched that composition from my head and gladly processed this photo. 
Again, keeping up with the energy level from the first week, i had some flours to spare so took some photos with that (just in case the first comp didn't work out).
me and my brother managed to scare a local who was walking her dog here. i mean, imagine seeing a man meditating at the top of a forest, complete with incense. and a girl flipping her hair full of flour!!!!

bikbok turquoise sweater

week 3

vero moda dress

 don't you just love it when you get exactly the image that you had in your mind? week 3 did me proud :). i wouldn't talk about the idea since it's on flickr - The Green Mile and all.  

week 4

vero moda wool jacket H&M tee Ugg boots
Again, thanks to KG , i got my ass out and went to my favorite field. i felt so strongly about the composition and that helped to stay focused while shooting in the dreadful cold. So it would be safe to say that it's great to have a clear idea before you start shooting. Of course it could also be a drawback if you get so rigid, then you forget it's ok to be flexible. 
Looking at the end result, i still find something doesn't sit well with me. but this has been one of the most liked/viewed photos on my flickr so i'm guessing i did something right!

week 5

Dr Martins
Another great week where i got on my screen what i had in mind. the snow started exactly as i had imagined. except for falling on my arse on a frozen wooden board while trying to jump, trying to make sure not to get footprints on the snow, it was perfect. Again, it helped to have a clear idea in my head. 

week 6

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My nephew accompanied me here. But it was too bloody cold and was starting to get dark. Then i just couldn't find the perfect location, partly because i didn't know what i was looking for. so i made use of the smoke bombs. and that crown. and got myself this. Not happy!

week 7

camden town
Hello clear concept :) By now, i'm starting to tell myself that i really should have a clear idea before heading for a shoot. This composition was again something i felt strongly about. i talked about being compassionate towards oneself. (preach preach preach)

week 8

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week 8 sucked! Started with a different idea and shot in the snow wearing a LBD, carrying the giant teddy bear, sitting on a chair but the images sucked so bad, i cannot even dare upload them as outtakes. So i had to make do with this old image. i like the tones though :)

week 9

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Xmas was around and i was in the mood. pretty simple idea and i liked how it came out :)

week 10

cheesecake dress forever new
i'm glad looking at this. it must be one of the most common compositions but thanks to Gyan, i could see it has a special meaning. and yay for the tones:)

week 11
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i started the week with the above comp but then i didn't feel like playing around with the images. So i went back to my red thread. and had so much fun weaving it around the room.


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week 12

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Looking at this image, you wouldn't believe where i shot it. it's in a tiny storage attached to my room. i just knew i had to make use of the light there and the fabric that i bought, originally for more close-up shots. So you're sure to see it again ;)

week 13

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i've been so much wanting to get into more darker stuff. and i made fake blood this week and decided to walk around bare feet in the snow. BAD IDEA. i couldn't pull it off so i went back to this simple image. i'm surely going to try the comp again though. 

week 14


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i liked the idea of building tons of snowmen in the backyard. as simple as that:)

week 15

ikea light bulb

Oh My God! This one's got to be the worst edit EVER! i was upset i couldn't process it any better because it really looked amazing in my head. i even thought i'd do an animal series or something. but alas, i opted to do another image for the week, making use of the gorgeous orb.  not much thought into it. 

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"twas fun for me looking back at the weeks. maybe i can write something more meaningful in the future. but i think i'd say it much better in pictures. thanks for being here though! :)
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Saturday, January 1, 2011

the confines of my mind


2011!!! It feels like the moment is finally here. Feels like all the doors are opening again. 
Feels like the mess is going to be solved.
photography canon zara forever21 dressgirl camera canon eos 450D 50mm forever 21 dressPhotobucket
oh my god! its going to be fun trying to take this down!