A midsummer dream

The internet is a strange thing. It's harder than ever to be alone. Stimulations 24x7. There is at least one other person out there who would rather hang out with you than be by him/her self. I met Petja at a local meet-up. And I knew when I saw her that it was time.

 Time to bring out my camera. I was nervous and excited at the thought of it. The skies opened up at the right time. and so it started again......

Is this it?

Breathe.
That's one thing we do no matter what is happening around us. And yet, why does it feel so weird when we try to focus on this one act.
Does it scare you too when you try to let go of all the clutter that we call 'life'? For once, can you stop living for the next day, planning your next activity, thinking of that one person or making your grocery list?
I can't. So I'm haunted by these questions....
If we are not living for the now, then what are we really living for? What is the purpose of life?
Why am I 'I"?
Who are we?

Model: Jeremy Hugall

It doesnt take long to gel with Jeremy. He's a very huggable person but can be a big pain sometimes. Oh well, aren't we all like that? :)

Thanks for reading. Ask those questions to yourself. Give me a buzz if you find the answers :)

Forever Young

heartfelt apologies to Joachim for having taken so long to process these pictures. i hope you'll be able to forgive me and trust photographers :=)

Saw this boy in a cosy little cafe in town and i've never recognized such a strong urge to photograph a face. like they say "there's always a first", i walked right up and introduced myself. Joachim was kind enough to agree to be photographed. i still remember he couldnt write down his number for me 'cause his hands were shaking. Little did he know that i was equally as nervous.

Joachim plays in a band (who wouldnt have guessed, right?). i wanted to capture a Dylan-ish look and kept everything toned down. was good to finally process pictures with an overshadowing theme. i hope to keep this trend up although i will never batch process my pictures.

hope you're having a wonderful week. Weekend's right around the corner!

Material Girl

Some girls have it all. As pretty as she looks, Kaia is an intelligent, unique and talented girl. Check out her music here.

( believe this is my favorite from the day).

It was such a great feeling getting out in this cold weather, waking up earlier than i would like on a sunday morning; freezing my hands and toes; carrying a bag full of clothes, shoes and accessories; waiting for people to move from a frame i picked; hungry and thirsty. The last time i had gone on a shoot was in the summer! I have missed this excitement, and i hope i will get to do this so much more often this year. I already have a victim on hand :D

i hope you have had a great start to this year!

Forever a Chrysalis

First things first, thank you to those who have been visiting this blog, despite my lack of initiative for updating you. i'm really touched by every single shout-out in the box.

i've been dreading hitting the "New Post" button forever and a day now. I just felt that, without my photography, I would be just another regular uninteresting fellow being without much to contribute. any medium other than photography makes me feel dumb and empty. so i still have no justification for this particular post. but i guess something is better than nothing. so here is my attempt at summing up what my life has been like since Nepal and what im trying to do to revisit my passion for photography. Warning: this could get a little personal :)

The past year I faced the toughest times of my life. Id never felt lower self-esteem and more confused. Most of it of course had to do with not being able to find a job. After graduating in June 2010, I suddenly had tons of time in my hands, loads of applications to send and no friends around me. That was definitely good for my creativity though, especially since I was living right by the woods (and god bless the woods). Photography was what made me feel grounded at the end of the day, an event I could look forward to on the weekends. However, by March, I still didn't have a single job offer and my time had run out. My bags were packed and I was ready to try to live off of doing photography. Or anything that I could get my hands on.

En route to Nepal via India, I got the call that changed the whole game for me. I got the offer I wanted and finally there seemed to be a somewhat "secure" future. But mind you, I make no qualms about having sent 100s of applications, done tons of interviews and attended a couple of assessment centres. I think all these have made me appreciate even more what I have now and I dont take anything for granted. It made me believe that some times, some people just have to wait a little longer to get what they really deserve.

Since August, I've been working as a consultant. Finally being able to justify my 20 years of business education. It's been a super crazy ride, with lots to digest and a few moments where i question my destiny. The ever so cliche - 'am I following my heart?' kinds. But I have no grounds to complain. AT ALL. i'm content, i feel useful and i'm enjoying every single day. almost.
occasionally i worry thinking of my camera lying in the drawer that has remained closed for a long stretch of time. but i am keeping my eyes on 2 people at work to get me started again. some earthlings are just too beautiful to miss eh?

i really really really hope the next post will be more pictures and less words. but im done beating myself up about checking to-do lists so no promises. But rest assured, i know photography will run in me through and through till i completely change my soul or something.

Anyways, thanks for reading and have a nice weekend :)

life in transit

Waiting there at the Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok during a 6 hour transit, i had every intention of buying a ticket back to Nepal and "following my heart". i realised this was the longest i got to spend at home in the past 7 years. i guess it is then only natural to become so attached. Being back in Norway and adjusting to life near the woods has been anything but easy. The first couple of days all i could think of was the past months i got to spend in Kathmandu, the awesome people i met and just the privilege of being a pro photographer. but as they say, time does heal. i'm finally looking forward to starting a new career, something i've been preparing myself for the past, what, 20 years! i'm sure it's not going to be too bad, right?

But if you're in Kathmandu, then you're not quite done with me just yet. Before leaving, i did one last cover shoot for Wave's August issue and another project with Folio magazine which is due in September! Excited!

Lastly, please take care of the city while you're there?

Leavin on a Jetplane

Come on out and dance

If you get the chance,

We're gonna spit on the rivals.

All I wanna know,

Is how far you wanna go, 

fighting for survival

Tenzin Choetso blogs at becomingponytail. i like the simplicity and effortlessness in her style. She had emailed me when i had just got here in Nepal but it was only after a  month when i personally met up with her. Although we've only hung out a few times, it's been great knowing her and it's felt like we've been friends for a long time. Don't you just love it when that happens? Internet is a strange thing. 

This very day i also shot two boys i'd been planning to shoot for a long time now. i had a completely different concept in head. We had a go at it. But maybe i'm not ready. maybe the world's not ready yet to see such a concept. so i'll save it for later. maybe try it out with someone else. i'll let these photos suffice for now. 

Model: Bikash Rai

(tried to recreate one of Rai's photos. not sure if i did justice)

Model: Deepesh Shahi

thank you boys for being such a good sport both the days. Come rain or sunshine ;)

i have 4 days left in Nepal now. such.a.sad.feeling. i've been crying my eyes out, half not understanding how we can get so attached to a piece of land, and half not understanding why it is so hard some times to do the very things we ourselves have chosen! i feel guilty for leaving this place in the hands of others. i feel selfish for having thought just of myself while making my decision. i feel scared of a future where i'll be missing home.  and yet, i know im not going to do anything stupid and dramatic now. it's been an amazing 3 months but im going move on, be a sport :) and see where this life leads me. Most probably, all roads will lead me back home. 

a thank you note

photographs and brightly colored paper, 

are your mask you wear in this caper. that is our life

As the vehicle slowly started moving, i passed the central park of Kathmandu. The sun was about to set as it lit the short grasses with the last rays of light, slowly being teased by a cool breeze. A Norah Jones song started playing in my head. Boys were playing cricket, as their silhouette was being painted a faint orange by the light behind them. Oblivious to the traffic and noise around the park, some boys lay on the ground, day dreaming or making small chit chat. Some were in the mood for bromance. I saw a frightened yet excited eyes of a kid sitting almost on the handles of a bike without a helmet on (!!!). In the distance, I could see a fuzzy frame of white mountains beyond the valley covered by clouds of dust. A handsome tanned man on a bike gave me a confused look seeing the smile on my face. And all I could think of at that moment was to be thankful. To my camera.

So many of us take pictures to keep memories. We are scared our moments won’t come back and thus want to keep a part of it on glossy paper or on our computers. We often take them out to look back at disconnected friends and try to live up the times again, although photos are only one-dimensional, doing a poor job of describing the true essence of their content. Some of us take pictures simply to enjoy a narcissistic adrenaline rush admiring features of our physical image. Some of us are plain random, taking pictures of drunk acquaintances making an idiot out of themselves. Most people, when picking up a hobby or getting into a project, get so observed in itself that they only think about the end result. We forget to enjoy the journey.

That day I realized that of all the things I have learnt after picking up my camera, the most precious lesson was that I have begun to cherish moments when I don’t have a camera in my hands. I don't feel the excessive need to take  pictures when I travel or when I meet friends, for these times are for me to live up right then and there. Not to lose over a couple of frames that I can enjoy later. Maybe I won’t even remember most of such times again without a physical evidence to look at, but I don’t mind. If I have lived the moment when it’s happening, is that not going to make the best mental pictures?

I quote my friend Sanjog Rai , “photography class should be a requirement in all educational programs because it makes you see the world rather than just look at it...”. It is true. Even if you're not a hobbyist photographer, take out your cameras more often. Get really obsessed with how it works and think about how to get the most beautiful pictures. And once you put that camera down, you will see what a difference it makes to your perspective of things around you. You really begin to open your eyes.

p.s there's only a month and a half in Kathmandu left for me now. YIKES! I'm nervous and excited. 

Everything is impermanent

young and full of running

tell me where has that taken me?

just a great figure eight or a tiny infinity?

It's been exactly a month and a half since i got to Kathmandu and man, have i been busy! i'm actually thankful to the one/two bandhs a week that lets me stay at home. i'm still trying to get used to putting my phone on silent and drifting away from everything on these days though.

Working with Wave was definitely not planned! i'd just shot an email to one of the editors, we met and everything clicked. Yesterday shot the June cover-story pictures already!If you haven't checked out the May issue, please do so because i've attempted to write as well :) Although getting a whole crew together and making a big deal out of the concepts is fun, i've realised it's definitely not the same as shooting just for my own pleasure. Of course,  i am getting full freedom to bring in my concepts and play with the photos as i want at Wave. But stripped from the money aspect and the slightest pressure to please certain people on time, personal shoots are what fuels me i find. If i've learnt anything in the last months, it is that i am not a hero. i cannot make a model out of anyone. that my skills depend so much on getting the right persons and i feel humbled. And above all, i feel so very lucky to be living my dreams. THIS is exactly what i'd wanted for a long long while. and like everything....i'm ready for this not to last.

On a different note, i'm updating because i had another shoot with Noal Gurung. It was super fun because i got to play with a Canon 5D mark II and flash lights, thanks to Sworup. The first time i touched that beauty, i felt so bad because i wanted to completely ignore my Canon EOS 450D. but this time around, i felt more comfortable with the realisation of the fact that no matter what camera it is, it wouldn't cook up concepts for you. (i'm just saying because i cannot afford a 5D mark II :P)

p.s the left one was taken with the 5D mark II. right one with the EOS 450D!!!. 

Lastly, i want to apologize to all the people i've promised to meet up with but haven't been able to :( All i can say for now is that i still have two months here and Kathmandu is a very small town :)

Baby's Romance

Chris Garneu because i don't think any other voice would do justice to Noal's face..

i had an amazing shoot with Noal. Had seen his pictures on facebook before and saw so much potential. i love his bone structure and gorgeous jawline and thought it'd be interesting to contrast the innocent look with some daring concepts.

The crown went so perfectly well with Noal's sleek hair and thereafter was no turning back.

three little girls walked past us and one actually screamed at the sight of Noal. it was hilarious! plus a random tourist thought the most worthy attraction at the GoD was Noal and took some snapshots!

i hope you love the result of the shoot as much as i do.

p.s i don't feel guilty about stopping (temporarily?) with the 52 weeks self-portraits project. i think it was high time to move away from myself and make use of all the beauty around me. but maybe i will pick up where i left once i go back :)

Norwegian Style

 

Hello World! This is a long overdue update. I shot Fredrik in Oslo two weeks back and had quite a great time. The thing i really liked about his face was that he had so many looks. One moment he could look like Jake Gyllenhaal and the next minute he could look like someone else. It was really a joy :)

On another note, i'm here in India en route to Nepal. i feel so privileged to get to take such a long break at home and i intend to make every day count. If anyone who's reading this is in Nepal and wants to meet up, i'm game :)

Do expect to see more street stuff.